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I Don't Want to Get Hurt (By You (Again​)​)

from Lydian Water Songs by Cactus Tractor

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about

I took a long time with this track and was never quite sure what to do with it, and if and when it was done. I started it back in Hyde Park, in about 2006 or 2007, and sketched out some verses and the first chorus. But I couldn't figure out what the "story" should be, and a couple of times I tried working in "I don't want to hurt YOU," or something like it. Then, oh, I don't know, over the last ten years or so I guess I've gotten hurt a bunch, and hurt other people probably as much, and so I let the song meaning accrue these added resonances and complexities, and, while I'm not certain that all that many new lyrics were added to the song (though I did sketch out LOTS of new possibilities in my journals), the flow of the music and the emotional arc did evolve, and, I suppose, matured. So that, now, I still don't really know what it means or what it's about, but it still feels like it's fully fledged, complete. -DB

lyrics

I don’t want to get hurt by you. I don’t want to get hurt by you again. I can’t take being kissed by you. I can’t take being kissed by you again. I couldn’t escape you if I thought I wanted to, it never even entered my mind; I couldn’t embrace you if I thought I had a clue, it’s just a waste of foolish time. You’re at my door, you’re on my way to school. You’re at my door, you’re on my way to school again. Why when you lose love, do you not lose loveliness? Is one not just the other’s glow? Why is it so hard to stop dreaming of your kiss? You left so little to let go. I don’t want to get hurt by you, I don’t want to get hurt by you—but I’m not gonna stop, I’m not gonna shy away, I don’t care what it does to me. I don’t care.

credits

from Lydian Water Songs, released December 18, 2015
Music and lyrics by David Bashwiner. Performed by David Bashwiner, Christy Cook, Matthew Tobias, Paul Hunton, Jon McMillan, and string quartet (Donna Bacon, Ryan Downs, Caitlyn Fukai, Mario Bastea-Forte). Recorded and mixed by Matthew Tobias at Empty House Studio. Produced by David Bashwiner.

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Cactus Tractor Albuquerque, New Mexico

Cactus Tractor is a seven-to-ten-person Bohemian Pop Folk Disco (beau-pop-faux-disc) band based in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with three songwriters, toothsome harmonies, and a multitude of fun stringed and unstrung instruments.

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